A Small introduction of why “The ‘Lou’ Threw Me For A Loop!
A little bit about me. Well let’s say I’m something of a miracle to even be sitting here writing this to you today. I was born in a small suburb of St. Louis called Kirkwood, Missouri in a hospital that doesn’t even exist anymore. My parents divorce was finalized on my 6th birthday. But they split up due to something more sinister. A man entered my family’s world that still haunts us today. That story comes out in my book. This man wound up molesting and trafficking me, some other children and even tried to force himself on my sister but thankfully she was older. My parents didn’t know how to even understand what I was saying at 10 when I come to them with this and they did why they thought was correct. My father hid me. And caused a separation clause from my mother for years because of his own inner issues. It is true that the ‘sins of the parents can be turned upon the children in many cases. This doesn’t always mean ACTIONS it can almost always mean what we “teach” them with actions and words. If anything these actions shaped me for my formative years. I delved into my books, training and school activities as much as possible until I couldn’t take it anymore and the past caught up with me and I moved in with my mother my Junior year. I let life slip out of control my senior year for a bit and wound up being raped back in Affton, Missouri. This set me up for years of failure as I didn’t have the family support structure needed to prosper in life, nor did I know how to succeed. I had my heart set on following in my ancestors footsteps and I became the 4th generation to join the military and I became a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy. But when a huge ice storm hit the Midwest in January of 1997 no one showed up to see me graduate Boot Camp and on Liberty Weekend we all went to the Navy Pier and downtown Chicago and honestly the only thing I remember to this day is waking up in a limousine with 4 of my ‘brothers’ on me holding me down and raping me. How could this happen? I don’t remember? But when I walked across the Quarterdeck I was told to go take a shower and not talk about it. I was devastated. My family failed me, my country failed me and now I realized I was worth nothing. This led to many years of “thinking” we as women (and men) were to be used and abused by whomever they wanted and there was nothing we could do about it. I was wrong. So wrong. I went through more schooling in the military while struggling with alcoholism and then after getting hurt, with prescription drug abuse. This in turn did turn into street drugs. In 2000 while in school I met my sons father and in turn wound up being very domestically abused until September of 2004 when my son was 2 1/2 and I said “No More!” It’s amazing that a child can change your whole world. My son was my saving grace. I got better. I threw myself into counseling and group supports and also had multiple surgeries to fix my medical injuries at this time. All in all I have had 52 surgeries and procedures and 8 technical meat death experiences or deaths. I think at 41 years old I have met my quota lol. I had been clean and sober and loving good for 8 1/2 years when compounding factors set me up to meet a man online that I had known in high school that had his eye on me for a long while. I just didn’t know it at the time. This man wound up being my ex husband, abuser, father to my daughter and second trafficker. This also saved my life. When you hit a point in your life when you say, “Enough is Enough” this is where I was. It was 2010 when I met him. On September 21, 2015 I escaped him. In 2017, I was able to securely divorce him. And my mission has been uphill since then. This fight for justice and restoration of the judiciary process where victim shaming and victim blaming has got to end. The narrative where the traffickers and abusers get put back into the dialogue needs to be put back. I started this nonprofit to be able to have a voice in a State where we fight gag orders and corruption within our own administration, police forces and local officials and businesses. It’s hard. And it has worked. I have always been an author of poetry and short stories but now I write and speak and advocate for those who are still out there without a voice. I am alive because of the training that I received and the ability I had to stay alive during those horrible situations. But it’s not like you see on TV. There’s no “pizzagate” or huge conspiracy. That’s tactics to throw you off. This is a fight for our freedom from our own families selling us and our own loved ones doing this to us. This is what I fight and it a dangerous fight we fight. But to be here is an Honor. Thank you.
